Dealing With Shame- A Thorough Guide

Shame is a complicated emotion due to the vagueness of its nature. This feeling often gets misconstrued for anger, guilt or even embarrassment. This emotion can cause a vast disturbance in one’s day to day functioning. As this feeling is not instantly identified, it can cause a domino effect of negative feelings and behaviors in one’s day to day functioning.

However, dealing with shame is not as difficult as you might think. The following guide offers detailed steps on how to recognize and work to resolve this feeling:

Make it apparent
The first step of dealing with shame is to bring it forward. Most people refrain from speaking about the things that make them feel shameful due to its complicated nature. This emotion has the power to make a person feel unloved and unwanted by society. Hence, individuals experiencing this often stay away from discussing the things that make them feel ashamed.
As a result, when you talk about this emotion, you are ultimately provided with the power to take control of it. Discussing it with someone you care about can help you remove the illogical, irrational thoughts (i.e. that you are not loved), and replace them with positive emotions. The key to getting rid of shame is to take all of its power.

Question your inner demon
Every human being has an inner demon which tells them that they are not worthy. This demon can ignite the flow of irrational thoughts and make you feel ashamed for even the slightest of things. However, you can easily conquer this demon by questioning it philosophically. Take a look at the following scenario:

You are burdened with the task of essay writing, and you do not have the time to complete all your projects in one night. Hence, you take the assistance of a professional essay writing service UK. Your inner demon would tell you that you are not good enough or competent enough to complete the task yourself. As a result, you would feel ashamed.

At this stage, you can question your inner demon with the following inquiries:

“How does taking assistance make me incompetent rather than self-caring?”

“Why is taking assistance a negative thing?”

When your inner demon fails to have an answer, you would eventually get rid of shame!

Do not define yourself with your degree of productivity
In modern society, every individual measures their self-worth through their level of achievement. In doing so, they end up contrasting themselves with others who are more successful. As a result, you are required to separate the idea of who you are with the degree of your achievements. This separation will allow you to get rid of the shame you experience by constructing yourself with others.

Understand what triggers you
Getting rid of negative emotions is a complicated process. Even after you get rid of the shame, certain moments trigger you and bring back those feelings. In such situations, you can recognize the triggers and work with them.