Why is happiness so difficult? 10 reasons, 10 solutions
Most of us are happy with the error. This is because we grew up on the belief that life is supposed to make us feel comfortable. We have learned to avoid pain like plague, because negative events cause negative emotions, and negative emotions are not intended to feel. The result is that we feel pain and fail at the first signs of stress because the wheels of emotional training have never stopped.
Although there are roadblocks to happiness, the good news is that it is all in our control. Here is a look at thieves shared happiness and how to change them in order to feel better.
1. Fear
Fear of change is natural. Staying mired in misery, is not. Common causes include fear of the unknown, failure, what people might say, and risking our safety blanket in the name of safety and predictability.
Fear afflicts many clients of the treatment: staying in a self-fulfilling profession because “this is what my parents did to provide the family”, or sticking to unhappy relationships because it is “better than being alone”, and stalling in a creative project because “what would the naysayers say if they failed?
It takes courage to get out of your comfort zone, but your comfort zone is also a danger zone. One of the biggest remorse for death is to restore whatever. Topping the list is the fear of criticizing others. Get advice from the ex-wife:
“You won’t have to worry too much about what other people think of you if you realize that they rarely do so.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
2. The chase of self-esteem
“It has become self-evident in our culture that we need to be highly respected in order to be happy and healthy. But as research begins in clarification now, the need to positively assess ourselves comes at a heavy price. The main problem is that obtaining a high degree of self-esteem It requires a feeling of privacy and above the average. To be called an average is considered an insult in our culture. This need to feel the superior results in a social comparison process in which we constantly try to blow ourselves up and put others in their place. “- Dr. Christine Neve
The problem is that once our self-esteem collapses, as it is inevitably, we begin to absorb negative emotions and prepare for our feelings of anxiety, depression, and lack of merit.
What is an antidote?
Developing self-compassion.
Empathy for oneself means seeing ourselves realistically, as infallible as the next man or person. Feelings of complacency about self-compassion are very stable because they are based on our own subjective values.
Research has shown that compassion provides the same benefits as high self-esteem, such as reducing anxiety, depression, and high happiness. However, it is not associated with the negative effects of self-esteem such as social comparison, defense, or narcissism.
3. External rewards
Happiness is an inner work. Sure, a shiny new car, elegant fossils and a European vacation can make life better, but they are temporary fixes. Sometimes we move away from our minds in search of happiness so that these outward endeavors block our path. The best things in life are created and developed – good and close relationships, positive experiences and loving memories. Material goods will not overwhelm us with feelings of good sense and meaning.
4. “When you reach this goal …”
Life does not respect the ideal time. Waiting for the future is to sit anxiously as the world passes. We postpone our happiness until a future time when everything is OK. Only this time never comes.
Some believed that happiness should be earned, and suffering now means that we can cash in our karmic sunlight tomorrow. The truth is that happiness is not mystical or destiny. Anxiety therapy agents often self-sabotage when things begin to search because they believe that if they take emotional wellness for granted, the Gods of Happiness will strike them. Protective Anxiety is a waste of time if there ever was.
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As a child I have always looked forward to highlights: high school graduation, independent living, marriage, travel, parenting, etc. Then I woke up one day in my twenties and realized that I was living “the future”. Despite the highlights, there have always been barriers. Once one of the challenges was overcome, the next challenge was knocking on my door. This realization has forced me to be a deficient reality, known as “here now”. It’s very easy to get involved in tomorrow’s game. And every precious moment of the day passes by us.
5. Negative thoughts
The critical psychological lesson is learning that our thoughts shape our emotions, not the other way around. It is common to think that we cannot help our feelings, but this is simply not true. Negative thoughts can seem automatic as they become ingrained in our thinking process. The complexity of things is that many of our thoughts are unconscious.
One of the best ways to combat chronic negative thinking is to visit a therapist. A skilled therapist will help you uncover your unconscious thinking process so that these thoughts are brought into consciousness, examined and dealt with.
For example, you may have had many ideas when reading, “Visit a therapist.” Perhaps you have had a negative counseling experience in the past, or your immediate idea was, “Here we go again, someone tells me I’m crazy, and I need to fix, or other thoughts that sparked a negative correlation. If you find yourself interacting with the same people and situations over and over again, it is Your subconscious thoughts will likely block your way.
The sister-to-be uncovered by unconscious thoughts is a treatment technique called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
The quality of our thoughts means everything to happiness.
6. Comparison
Have you ever shouted Instagram and thought, “Wow, if only my life is such and such, then I would be really happy”?
We have bombed by reminding us that our best breath is waiting in the wings. The thing is that we are seeing modified reality. Example: As I was writing this article I was motivated. So she went out and started taking pictures to post on social media. When I checked my self-consciousness, I had to admit I was more interested in reaching my followers’ number, rather than providing value to my fans. Instead of feeling grateful that I was able to write for great websites like Huffington Post and Psychology Today, I was chasing more readers, more likes, more hearts and more posts. The comparison really is a thief of joy.
7. Live in the past
Few things are more sad than seeing someone stuck in an endless cycle of repeating their glory days. As the saying goes, “Young people get lost on youth.” The thing in the past is that we will come back and change the miserable parts if we can. Regreting what you did or didn’t do is useless because you were a different person at the time. Plus, we are constantly developing.
With the exception of John from high school who will happily present you a beer in exchange for listening to that time, he has had great success in the game in the last seconds of the fourth quarter. Or how his life was distorted because of that miserable wife who turned his children against him and took him to the cleaners during the divorce.
8. Loose borders
Healthy limits are the key to happiness. Without a plan of who we are, who we are, who we are and what we want in our lives, we cannot simply manage time and emotional energy.
For example, let’s say you and your family traveled through the city to visit people for Sunday dinner. After sweets, the mother does not want you to leave, although your children are weird. When my mom pushes the boundaries that negatively affect your family, keep steadfast, but you love: “I appreciate the time I spent today, but as I mentioned earlier, sleep is at 8:00 pm. We have to go.”
My mom might see the border as a challenge, and an invitation to push your buttons. Hold your land and impose “second level” limits, if necessary. For example, leave without getting involved in any other conversation, turn off your mobile phone, and do not allow yourself to plead guilty to repeated pleas to make an exception because it is a “special occasion”.
9. Neglecting gratitude
There is a wide range of reasons why we are grateful for daily practice – research has shown that feeling grateful has many positive effects such as improved health, better immune systems, feelings of communication, and higher levels of cooperation.
When we watch what we do not have, we waste our emotional energies. Focusing on our shortcomings, rather than our blessings, means overlooking the fact that most things in our lives are very good.
Try thinking about three things each day that you feel grateful for or keep gratitude notes. These cute little deeds only take minutes, but the difference in outlook and positive emotions can make a big difference.
10. Forget about the process
Sometimes we make life more difficult than necessary. Happiness is not a means to an end, because there is no happy face. We certainly experience happy moments and happy memories, but life revolves around the journey and enjoys the steps along the way. When we give up our limited view of happiness, we accept that life is full of distractions and flows where some days are wonderful, others are good, others are bad. that’s good. The cultivation of happiness is as much a matter of treating adversity as it is about embracing beauty in the moments of everyday life.
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